Gawd’s Box

Artifact: 
Decorative shrine depicting Gawd’s Box, from which all Her creations came forth. Magnifying glasses hang at the sides for a more detailed viewing.
Artifact:
Close up of shrine showing the various stages, and process of creation. Unused and recycled parts are piled in a box, and stuffed in jars. Bugs are pinned down, waiting for glue to dry. Others accessorize and mill about the box before taking off on their own.
Artifact: 
Decorative shrine depicting Gawd’s Box, from which all Her creations came forth at a fun, new angle!
Artifact:
Dipiction of Gawd as bagworm during Her larval stage. Materials used claim to be Gawd’s actual school photo and scrap material. 
Artifact:
Depiction of one of Gawd’s creations, a spider like creature fabled to be made of Her fingers. 
Artifact:
Depiction of four of Gawd’s creations
Top left: Flying creation with what appears to be fingers for legs, and lips for elytra. 
Top Right: Another flying creation with Gawd’s mouths to propel it forward. 
Bottom Left: An eight fingered creation with more fingers for pedipalps
Bottom Right: Four winged creation, with a body made of fleshy parts and legs made of hair. 
Artifact:
Close up of lower right section of the shrine, showcasing what appears to be a preserved grasshopper dressed in clown drag. 
Artifact:
Close up of the top left section of the shrine. One of Gawd’s creations sits with his legs crossed, holding a cigarette. *Please note, this image appears to have been tampered with to appear as if this creation was in a spaceship. There is no proof that this shrine was ever in space.
Artifact:
Close up of the middle left section of the shrine. One creation made of fingers, lips, eyes, and beetle mouthparts is perched on branch. Behind it, another fleshy creation with eyebrow legs, lower lip mouth parts and cicada wings perches over a third creation. The bottom creation is composed of eyelids, the head and abdomen of a beethle and several fingers. 
Artifact:
Upper left part of shrine detailing four creations. The furthest to the left is composed of a bee head and thorax attatched to piece of what is claimed to be one of Gawd’s old earrings. This creature sits atop a small basket of flowers, hanging on branch. To the right of the bee, two creatures appear to be in the act of creation themselves, watched by a fourth wearing a scarf. Behind them ins a depiction of Gawd. 
Artifact: 
Lower right section of the shrine. This close up shows various completed creations. To the right, a photo reel depicting Gawd’s night out in a photo both is pinned up. It appears the creations have been chewing on it. 
Depiction of Gawd
Depiction of Gawd getting a little bit silly with Her creations

Excerpt from ancient texts:
“In the beginning of the twenty third year, there was only numbness. Then, Gawd decided to feel, however Her current form would not allow it. So, Gawd decided to destroy herself, and start over. With only vague annoyance to fuel Her efforts, She ripped Herself open and dug out the numbness. She pulled herself apart, bit by bit and then laid down in a cocoon She did not recall making and fell into a deep slumber. In Her dreams she rebuilt Herself with Her own cells and spare parts She found left behind in the void. She piled the parts into masses, frantic to find the perfect form, Her final form. 
Gawd awoke from Her slumber three years later, to find Her form changed, and still the same. Gawd noticed She was not alone in the casing and let out a shriek so loud it cracked her cocoon. She emerged, and after Her spilled out a multitude of creations, none of them Her, none of them anything but Her. Gawd set about refining Her creations, continuing Her work pulling apart and stitching back together, still searching for a form that pleased Her.... “ 

This accumulation of images is a diary of my struggles with PTSD and my attempt to overcome depersonalization, and dissociation, and to discover all I can do with my body now that I feel like I have it back. While undergoing therapy I compared my mental and physical state to that of “insect goo” My mind has been breaking itself down, reprocessing trauma and rebuilding the way my body reacts to things. My nervous system has been working overtime but from the outside it may have appeared like the opposite was happening. Like a motionless pupa that may appear to have nothing going on, inside an extraordinary transformation. Now, I feel as though I am beginning to emerge, and like a metamorphized insect I am struggling with being real again after being goo for so long.  

I asked myself the question, what would it be like to transform my own body into a new organism? And what is it like for an insect to metamorphosize into something completely different, and somehow still the same. These “insect” creations are composed of different parts of my body I cut out of photographs taken for this purpose. I also incorperated ethically sourced preserved insects that were leftover from an entomology project.